Busing

There was a period in my life that I now like to refer to as The Bus Bin Days. This was the first year that I shared an apartment but had my own bedroom. Since I spent so much time in my room, I would eat all my meals at my computer desk. Because I sometimes lack forethought, or because I only go to the kitchen when I'm looking for food, dishes and glasses could accumulate in ridiculous amounts.

Aparantly I either have an iMac that runs
Windows or I don't have a CPU. Hmmm...

On day I had a brilliant idea. I had and empty milk crate.

Aaaaahhhh!

I collected all my dishes and plates and bowls and crap in it and was able to take it all to the kitchen in one trip. I was a genius! So I cleared a spot on a little table in my bedroom, placed the empty milk crate on it and proceeded to place all my used dishes in it as I used them.

Soooo many dishes.

My bus-bin was born!

Days or weeks would go by before taking my bin out to the kitchen to wash. Roommate started to notice that one day the dishwasher would be empty and the next 3/4 full. She noticed that we would be nearly out of dishes in the cabinet but they were no where to be found.

Finally, she one day came in my room looking for the vanishing dishes.

 I explained about my bus-bin. At least my dishes are making it out eventually?

Bus bins are a-MAZING!

We then spent the duration of the year playing a fun game where I would try to empty my bin at least once a week and when I took too long, I was yelled at.

Somehow we managed to stay friends.

My Screenplay

Earlier this week I read Stacey's guest post over on The Tsaritsa Sez and it reminded me of when I had to write a short screenplay for a film class I took in college. I thought I should post it here for you guys because why-the-hell-not? It was inspired by true events in my life but didn't actually happen. I forgot that I named my therapist after Noah Wiley's character on ER. I named myself after Elle Woods from Legally Blonde. Not exactly Oscar worthy but not bad for my first (probably last) one. Oh and in case you're wondering after/while you read it, no I wasn't.

My Therapist

FADE IN:

INT. PSYCHOLOGIST’S OFFICE – DAY

The room is decorated in rich earth tones. The room is lit with two standing lamps and a
desk lamp. A desk and chair face a leather couch.

DR. CARTER sits at a desk across from ELLE, who is sitting on the couch. He is holding a clipboard and has a pen behind his ear. Dr. Carter is quite young looking and seems
nervous.

Elle is in her early teens. She is wearing loose jeans and a sweatshirt. Her messy brown
hair covers part of her face. Her eyes are focused on a plant in the corner and she is clearly deep in thought.

Finally Dr. Carter speaks.

                        DR. CARTER

              So, uh, do you know why you’re here?

                        ELLE

              Yes, do you?

                        DR. CARTER

              Well, of course I do.

                        ELLE

              Then why’d you ask me? How old are you, any way? Are you even a real doctor?

Elle takes a pencil out of her purse and puts it behind her ear and looks skeptically at the shrink. She then goes back in her purse and takes out an open bag of M&Ms and starts munching.

Dr. Carter notes this, looks at the clock and notes “3:05” as well on his clipboard.

On the clipboard we see his notes on bulimia, he circles the one that reads “Most purge w/in 20 min of ingestion.”

                       

                        DR. CARTER

              Would you like to talk about why you’re here, or will we be seeing you again next week?

                       

                        ELLE

              Look, it’s not my fault that my dentist told my mother that I’m bulimic. I told her I’m not but although I’ve never done anything to break my parents trust, they never trust me about anything, so I have to talk to you for the next fifty-three minutes.

                        DR. CARTER

              Ok so you are saying that you are not bulimic?

                        ELLE

              Duh. You didn’t know that? Oh of course not, my mom would
                      have to believe me in order for her to tell you that.

                       

                        DR. CARTER

              Well I was told to assess whether you were or not, but I was
                      under the impression that you just refused to talk about
                      it.

                        ELLE

              When she first asked I said I wasn’t and then after that I said
                      that I wouldn’t tell her again. I hate being
                      interrogated.

                        DR. CARTER

              Why do you think she didn’t believe you?

                        ELLE

              Cause she’s a bitch?

Not knowing what to say Dr Carter looks down at his clipboard then back at Elle. The two stare at each other in silence.

                        ELLE

              Right.

                        DR. CARTER

              Is there any, um, other reason for your mother to think that you might be
                      bulimic?

                        ELLE

              What? Like how thin I am?

Dr. Carter notes that Elle is actually somewhat overweight but says nothing.

                        ELLE

              Oh and she tells me I’m fat.

Dr. Carter writes this too, on his clipboard, nodding.

                        ELLE

              You don’t have anything to say to that?

Dr. Carter looks up and shakes his head, then goes back to his clipboard.

                        ELLE

              Ok well, she didn’t explicitly say that I’m fat. She has told me that it’s not attractive for me to show my midriff. And she’s said how good I used to look back when I ran cross-country and was a cheerleader in middle school.

                       

                        DR. CARTER

              And how does that make you feel?

                       

                        ELLE

              Are you serious? I thought they only said that in movies.

                       

                        DR. CARTER

              No, it’s the first thing we’re taught in psych 101.

Elle stares at Dr. Carter. He gets uncomfortable.

                        DR. CARTER

              Fine, does it bother you that your mother is judging your appearance?

                        ELLE

              I guess so, I feel bad enough about it as it is, but not enough to have an eating disorder. And anyway, look at me. I’m not thin enough to be bulimic!  I’d look much hotter if I were.

                        DR. CARTER

              You’re very sarcastic aren’t you?

                        ELLE

                  (sarcastically)

              No, not at all.

                        DR. CARTER

              I see.

                        ELLE

              Ok.

Elle finishes off her chocolate and crumples the bag. She notices Dr. Carter looking at the bag.

                        ELLE

              Oh, sorry did you want some?

Dr. Carter looks at the clock and notes that it is now 3:55 and Elle didn’t excuse herself to use the restroom.

             

                        ELLE

              What else am I supposed to tell you to convince you I’m not lying?

                        DR. CARTER

              When did you open that bag of M&Ms?

                        ELLE

              Before…?

                        DR. CARTER

              No, I mean, where were you?

                        ELLE

              In the waiting room? I was there for like 40 minutes because my mom dropped me off at the wrong time. So after 5 minutes of People Magazine I got hungry. After I finished my Kit-Kat I moved on to my M&Ms.

Dr. Carter writes on his clipboard “80 minutes.”

                        DR. CARTER

              Will you excuse me of a moment?

                        ELLE

              Sure?

Elle can see Dr. Carter speaking with the receptionist outside his office. Dr. Carter returns.

                        ELLE

              What was that about?

                        DR. CARTER

              I believe you.

                        ELLE

              What…? Why? I mean, good, but why?

                       

                        DR. CARTER

              Sue said you didn’t use the bathroom. 

                       She said she noticed you just sitting 

                       there for so long.

                        ELLE

              Yeah I was waiting like, forever... So what?

                       

Elle looks at him confused, thinking. She then looks down at her M&M bag, and understands. She smiles, and she gets up to exit. Elle stops at the door and looks back at Dr. Carter.

                        ELLE

              Who would have thought? Once again, chocolate saves the day!

FADE OUT.