Apr 2, 2011

My Screenplay

Earlier this week I read Stacey's guest post over on The Tsaritsa Sez and it reminded me of when I had to write a short screenplay for a film class I took in college. I thought I should post it here for you guys because why-the-hell-not? It was inspired by true events in my life but didn't actually happen. I forgot that I named my therapist after Noah Wiley's character on ER. I named myself after Elle Woods from Legally Blonde. Not exactly Oscar worthy but not bad for my first (probably last) one. Oh and in case you're wondering after/while you read it, no I wasn't.


My Therapist


FADE IN:

INT. PSYCHOLOGIST’S OFFICE – DAY

The room is decorated in rich earth tones. The room is lit with two standing lamps and a
desk lamp. A desk and chair face a leather couch.

DR. CARTER sits at a desk across from ELLE, who is sitting on the couch. He is holding a clipboard and has a pen behind his ear. Dr. Carter is quite young looking and seems
nervous.

Elle is in her early teens. She is wearing loose jeans and a sweatshirt. Her messy brown
hair covers part of her face. Her eyes are focused on a plant in the corner and she is clearly deep in thought.

Finally Dr. Carter speaks.

                        DR. CARTER
              So, uh, do you know why you’re here?

                        ELLE
              Yes, do you?

                        DR. CARTER
              Well, of course I do.

                        ELLE
              Then why’d you ask me? How old are you, any way? Are you even a real doctor?

Elle takes a pencil out of her purse and puts it behind her ear and looks skeptically at the shrink. She then goes back in her purse and takes out an open bag of M&Ms and starts munching.

Dr. Carter notes this, looks at the clock and notes “3:05” as well on his clipboard.

On the clipboard we see his notes on bulimia, he circles the one that reads “Most purge w/in 20 min of ingestion.”

                       
                        DR. CARTER
              Would you like to talk about why you’re here, or will we be seeing you again next week?

                       
                        ELLE
              Look, it’s not my fault that my dentist told my mother that I’m bulimic. I told her I’m not but although I’ve never done anything to break my parents trust, they never trust me about anything, so I have to talk to you for the next fifty-three minutes.

                        DR. CARTER
              Ok so you are saying that you are not bulimic?

                        ELLE
              Duh. You didn’t know that? Oh of course not, my mom would
                      have to believe me in order for her to tell you that.
                       
                        DR. CARTER
              Well I was told to assess whether you were or not, but I was
                      under the impression that you just refused to talk about
                      it.

                        ELLE
              When she first asked I said I wasn’t and then after that I said
                      that I wouldn’t tell her again. I hate being
                      interrogated.

                        DR. CARTER
              Why do you think she didn’t believe you?

                        ELLE
              Cause she’s a bitch?

Not knowing what to say Dr Carter looks down at his clipboard then back at Elle. The two stare at each other in silence.

                        ELLE
              Right.

                        DR. CARTER
              Is there any, um, other reason for your mother to think that you might be
                      bulimic?

                        ELLE
              What? Like how thin I am?

Dr. Carter notes that Elle is actually somewhat overweight but says nothing.

                        ELLE
              Oh and she tells me I’m fat.

Dr. Carter writes this too, on his clipboard, nodding.

                        ELLE
              You don’t have anything to say to that?

Dr. Carter looks up and shakes his head, then goes back to his clipboard.

                        ELLE
              Ok well, she didn’t explicitly say that I’m fat. She has told me that it’s not attractive for me to show my midriff. And she’s said how good I used to look back when I ran cross-country and was a cheerleader in middle school.
                       
                        DR. CARTER
              And how does that make you feel?
                       
                        ELLE
              Are you serious? I thought they only said that in movies.

                       
                        DR. CARTER
              No, it’s the first thing we’re taught in psych 101.

Elle stares at Dr. Carter. He gets uncomfortable.

                        DR. CARTER
              Fine, does it bother you that your mother is judging your appearance?

                        ELLE
              I guess so, I feel bad enough about it as it is, but not enough to have an eating disorder. And anyway, look at me. I’m not thin enough to be bulimic!  I’d look much hotter if I were.

                        DR. CARTER
              You’re very sarcastic aren’t you?

                        ELLE
                  (sarcastically)
              No, not at all.

                        DR. CARTER
              I see.

                        ELLE
              Ok.

Elle finishes off her chocolate and crumples the bag. She notices Dr. Carter looking at the bag.

                        ELLE
              Oh, sorry did you want some?

Dr. Carter looks at the clock and notes that it is now 3:55 and Elle didn’t excuse herself to use the restroom.
             
                        ELLE
              What else am I supposed to tell you to convince you I’m not lying?

                        DR. CARTER
              When did you open that bag of M&Ms?

                        ELLE
              Before…?

                        DR. CARTER
              No, I mean, where were you?

                        ELLE
              In the waiting room? I was there for like 40 minutes because my mom dropped me off at the wrong time. So after 5 minutes of People Magazine I got hungry. After I finished my Kit-Kat I moved on to my M&Ms.

Dr. Carter writes on his clipboard “80 minutes.”

                        DR. CARTER
              Will you excuse me of a moment?

                        ELLE
              Sure?

Elle can see Dr. Carter speaking with the receptionist outside his office. Dr. Carter returns.

                        ELLE
              What was that about?

                        DR. CARTER
              I believe you.

                        ELLE
              What…? Why? I mean, good, but why?
                       
                        DR. CARTER
              Sue said you didn’t use the bathroom. 
                       She said she noticed you just sitting 
                       there for so long.

                        ELLE
              Yeah I was waiting like, forever... So what?
                       
Elle looks at him confused, thinking. She then looks down at her M&M bag, and understands. She smiles, and she gets up to exit. Elle stops at the door and looks back at Dr. Carter.

                        ELLE
              Who would have thought? Once again, chocolate saves the day!

FADE OUT.

6 comments:

  1. This made my day! Thanks for posting this! =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very clever. I, for one, have never written anything film/stage related in my life. If given such a task I'd probably just narrate a scene with dancing with sparklers, since that's all I can picture when I think of theatre for some reason. I would proceed to fail the assignment.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I liked this. I especially liked Elle's last line. Chocolate can save any one of my days.

    ReplyDelete
  4. @Stacey: Glad you liked it :)


    @Liddy: I was surprised that I came up with anything to write about since my life is so mundane and the only drama in it is boy related and still boring to others.

    @Apfel: Thanks!

    @Shannon: Chocolate really does fix everything... except obesity.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think in reality, most teenage females would have that same sarcastic tone to psychologists. Or, at least I would have. Chocolate is a girl's best friend and life-saver. Plus, if this were real, would the doctor really expect a bulimic patient to carry M&Ms in her purse?

    ReplyDelete

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