Earlier this week I read Stacey's guest post over on The Tsaritsa Sez and it reminded me of when I had to write a short screenplay for a film class I took in college. I thought I should post it here for you guys because why-the-hell-not? It was inspired by true events in my life but didn't actually happen. I forgot that I named my therapist after Noah Wiley's character on ER. I named myself after Elle Woods from Legally Blonde. Not exactly Oscar worthy but not bad for my first (probably last) one. Oh and in case you're wondering after/while you read it, no I wasn't.
My Therapist
FADE IN:
INT. PSYCHOLOGIST’S OFFICE – DAY
The room is decorated in rich earth tones.
The room is lit with two standing lamps and a
desk lamp. A desk and chair face a leather couch.
desk lamp. A desk and chair face a leather couch.
DR. CARTER sits at a desk across from ELLE,
who is sitting on the couch. He is holding a clipboard and has a pen behind his
ear. Dr. Carter is quite young looking and seems
nervous.
nervous.
Elle is in her early teens. She is wearing
loose jeans and a sweatshirt. Her messy brown
hair covers part of her face. Her eyes are focused on a plant in the corner and she is clearly deep in thought.
hair covers part of her face. Her eyes are focused on a plant in the corner and she is clearly deep in thought.
Finally Dr. Carter speaks.
DR.
CARTER
So,
uh, do you know why you’re here?
ELLE
Yes,
do you?
DR.
CARTER
Well,
of course I do.
ELLE
Then
why’d you ask me? How old are you, any way? Are you even a real doctor?
Elle takes a pencil out of her purse and puts it behind her ear
and looks skeptically at the shrink. She then goes back in her purse and takes
out an open bag of M&Ms and starts munching.
Dr. Carter notes this, looks at the clock and notes “3:05” as well on his clipboard.
On the clipboard we see his notes on bulimia, he circles the one
that reads “Most purge w/in 20 min of ingestion.”
DR.
CARTER
Would
you like to talk about why you’re here, or will we be seeing you again next
week?
ELLE
Look,
it’s not my fault that my dentist told my mother that I’m bulimic. I told her
I’m not but although I’ve never done anything to break my parents trust, they
never trust me about anything, so I have to talk to you for the next fifty-three
minutes.
DR.
CARTER
Ok
so you are saying that you are not bulimic?
ELLE
Duh. You
didn’t know that? Oh of course not, my mom would
have to believe me in order for her to tell you that.
have to believe me in order for her to tell you that.
DR.
CARTER
Well I was
told to assess whether you were or not, but I was
under the impression that you just refused to talk about
it.
under the impression that you just refused to talk about
it.
ELLE
When she
first asked I said I wasn’t and then after that I said
that I wouldn’t tell her again. I hate being
interrogated.
that I wouldn’t tell her again. I hate being
interrogated.
DR.
CARTER
Why do you
think she didn’t believe you?
ELLE
Cause she’s a
bitch?
Not knowing what to say Dr
Carter looks down at his clipboard then back at Elle. The two stare at each
other in silence.
ELLE
Right.
DR.
CARTER
Is there any, um, other reason for
your mother to think that you might be
bulimic?
bulimic?
ELLE
What?
Like how thin I am?
Dr. Carter notes that Elle is
actually somewhat overweight but says nothing.
ELLE
Oh
and she tells me I’m fat.
Dr. Carter writes
this too, on his clipboard, nodding.
ELLE
You
don’t have anything to say to that?
Dr. Carter
looks up and shakes his head, then goes back to his clipboard.
ELLE
Ok
well, she didn’t explicitly say that I’m fat. She has told me that it’s not
attractive for me to show my midriff. And she’s said how good I used to look
back when I ran cross-country and was a cheerleader in middle school.
DR.
CARTER
And
how does that make you feel?
ELLE
Are
you serious? I thought they only said that in movies.
DR.
CARTER
No,
it’s the first thing we’re taught in psych 101.
Elle stares at Dr. Carter. He gets
uncomfortable.
DR.
CARTER
Fine,
does it bother you that your mother is judging your appearance?
ELLE
I
guess so, I feel bad enough about it as it is, but not enough to have an eating
disorder. And anyway, look at me. I’m not thin enough to be bulimic! I’d look much hotter if I were.
DR.
CARTER
You’re
very sarcastic aren’t you?
ELLE
(sarcastically)
No,
not at all.
DR.
CARTER
I
see.
ELLE
Ok.
Elle finishes off
her chocolate and crumples the bag. She notices Dr. Carter looking at
the bag.
ELLE
Oh,
sorry did you want some?
Dr. Carter looks
at the clock and notes that it is now 3:55
and Elle didn’t excuse herself to use the restroom.
ELLE
What
else am I supposed to tell you to convince you I’m not lying?
DR.
CARTER
When did you open that bag of
M&Ms?
ELLE
Before…?
DR.
CARTER
No,
I mean, where were you?
ELLE
In
the waiting room? I was there for like 40 minutes because my mom dropped me off
at the wrong time. So after 5 minutes of People Magazine I got hungry. After I
finished my Kit-Kat I moved on to my M&Ms.
Dr. Carter writes on his clipboard “80
minutes.”
DR.
CARTER
Will
you excuse me of a moment?
ELLE
Sure?
Elle
can see Dr. Carter speaking with the receptionist outside his office. Dr.
Carter returns.
ELLE
What was that about?
DR. CARTER
I
believe you.
ELLE
What…?
Why? I mean, good, but why?
DR.
CARTER
Sue said you didn’t use the
bathroom.
She said she noticed you just sitting
there for so long.
ELLE
Yeah I was waiting like, forever... So what?
Elle looks at him confused, thinking. She then looks down at her M&M bag,
and understands. She smiles, and she gets up to exit. Elle stops at the door and looks back at Dr. Carter.
ELLE
Who would have thought? Once again, chocolate saves the day!
FADE OUT.
This made my day! Thanks for posting this! =)
ReplyDeleteVery clever. I, for one, have never written anything film/stage related in my life. If given such a task I'd probably just narrate a scene with dancing with sparklers, since that's all I can picture when I think of theatre for some reason. I would proceed to fail the assignment.
ReplyDeleteAwwww!! Not bad at all!!!
ReplyDeleteI liked this. I especially liked Elle's last line. Chocolate can save any one of my days.
ReplyDelete@Stacey: Glad you liked it :)
ReplyDelete@Liddy: I was surprised that I came up with anything to write about since my life is so mundane and the only drama in it is boy related and still boring to others.
@Apfel: Thanks!
@Shannon: Chocolate really does fix everything... except obesity.
I think in reality, most teenage females would have that same sarcastic tone to psychologists. Or, at least I would have. Chocolate is a girl's best friend and life-saver. Plus, if this were real, would the doctor really expect a bulimic patient to carry M&Ms in her purse?
ReplyDelete