Sep 29, 2011

How to NOT Make Friends at Work

When executed correctly, these steps will discourage your co-workers from attempting to befriend you and will avoid talking to you whenever possible to avoid feeling awkward. *

Step one:
Make sure to always look at the floor when walking through the halls. This will discourage people from attempting to interact with you.

Step two:
Wear rubber-soled shoes and tread lightly. If no one can hear you coming, they won't be able to stop you to talk.

Step three:
When delivering documents in work spaces, be sure to maintain eye-contact with the document. This will help you to avoid eye-contact with all humans. 

Step four:
If you hear someone approaching do not look up until they address you. This is guarantee no extraneous interaction with this person in the event that they are not coming to talk to you after all.

Step five:
If someone does attempt some sort of interaction with you, make sure to look as terrified as possible when responding. This will discourage any future attempts at friendliness.

*Disclaimer: If you would prefer to maybe make a couple friends, do the opposite :)


  1. Wow, this was hilarious... the second and last images are still cracking me up. ^_^

  2. I also recommend having something weird on your face.... some food.... or maybe " a bat in the cave"... people wont want to look at your upsetting face. Works every time.

  3. I giggle at number 4. . . and I regularly practice it. It's because of the hovering. :p

  4. @Liddy: Haha thanks!
    @Steve: good tip
    @Kylie: Yeah I do too, but you can usually tell if the footsteps want to talk to you or not.


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